Trying To Fit In - Music Forums - Music Forum

Geelove · #1 10-30-2008

Hey everyone! I need some advice....I'm looking for a new job in the begining of next year and need some advice or help you may call it.It's stressing me out everyday thinking about it.I know what some of you are gonna say, "just be your self girl" or "who cares what they think"and i don't care what they think,but I live in the MOST crappiest place in Texas,people don't care about you and hurt you.I hope to find a perminent job working at Hot Topic or Spencers.So, I need advice!

Much Appriciated-Geelove-

Geelove · #2 10-30-2008

I don't care about fitting in,but I am concerned.I grew up a misfit and it seems like this is the only place that excepts me for who I am.... and I just want to make friends at my new job when I get it.

magic · #3 10-30-2008

I am not the best person to give advice, but as a mother, I feel I should put in my thoughts.

Pick a job that is something you enjoy. Like Music, maybe a CD shop in the Mall. Or funky stuff, Like Hot Topic. Hey, and inflicting pain on people, The Piercing Pagoda
Be yourself. That is always what shines the most about people is when they are comfortable in being who they are. Never act fake or even try to
Dont worry so much! People will accept you for who you are, you just have to give them a chance, too.
and last of all, Smile! A smile is a universal "hello"

Geelove · #4 10-31-2008

Thanks Magic! I know those,im wondering something more complex. If that makes since....

magic · #5 10-31-2008

Sure Gee, I do understand what you mean. But I think you are worrying about things too much. Dont go out looking for a job with the mind set that you wont fit in, this is not the case. You "think" you are a misfit, which obviously you are not, we find you fascinating and a fun person! You have to just imagine that when you face people in public, that you are in your comfort zone, at home with your PSP, and talk to people like you "type" to them. I know this is hard to imagine, but, it means giving them a chance to see the INSIDE you. I am a shy person, and I overcome that by imagining things about the other people when i meet them. For example, I remember my first job, I was terrified that I would clam up and come across like a babbling idiot. So, I went to the interview, and sat across from a man, and imagined him with boogers in his nose.....I smiled the whole time, and was relaxed enough to say what I wanted to say.

You just have to find you own special way of relaxing.

Neverlife · #6 10-31-2008

Especially if your working at a place you like. You will have no problem, because everyone else that works there, wants to fit in too. So just work there, and after a few days of working on the job, it turns into a great family. I know..I work at McDonalds, I know...

Geelove · #7 10-31-2008

thank you Magic and Neverlife!what i ment is that i'm a misfit in real life,but now i'm not worried about it

i love the advice! i have such loving friends

Much Appriciated--Geelove--

Lord Grendel · #8 11-02-2008

Starting any new job is challenging enough without the added pressure of "Trying to fit in", Magic and Neverlife have covered most of the essentials. Sometimes however it's been my experience that you will never please everybody you meet professionally or otherwise. I'll give you an example of my side of things, I worked for a few years in a large distribution complex, that's when I became interested in operating heavy equipment. We had a crew of around 200 guys working there, all kinds of personalities and attitudes to deal with, most were okay but there are always some who just don't like you for some reason of their own. One guy in particular after about a year just wouldn't stop pissing me off, I never did anything to warrant his attention but he just didn't like me. Anyway we rented some arena time and started playing ice hockey after work, we split into teams and this guy was on the other team naturally, I was going almost full speed crossing the center line as we were passing the puck on a break out, and when I faked this guy out he knew I was going too fast to stop me so he jumped up and hit me in the head with his elbow. He hit me so hard the snot bubbled out of my nose, but nothing was broken. I never even thought about my reaction, I simply turned sharply around still going pretty fast and literally skated right into him and crushed him into the boards. The look of fear on his face was palpable at that point, but I wasn't done yet, I picked him up and bent him over in the penalty box along the boards and then I dropped my gloves getting ready to give him a beating, but the rest of the guys grabbed me and pulled me off him.

I never did anything to this guy to deserve the elbow he threw at me, but once I retaliated and showed him I wasn't afraid of him that changed everything between us, from that day forward he was my friend. It was so funny a week after this happened we were drinking in a bar laughing about it, I know it's a guy thing.

The moral of my long story Geelove is some people won't respect you until you stand up for yourself, I prefer to be civil to people most of the time, but in this instance, violence was the only thing he understood. Maybe it is different in the woman's world but what I described is common in a man's world especially hard physical type jobs like the one I do everyday.

Geelove · #9 11-03-2008

wow! thank u Grendel!

magic · #10 11-03-2008

not to change the subject here, but I like your flashy avatar in the sig, GEE