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Thread: Loyalty gets me nowhere.

  1. #1
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    Default Loyalty gets me nowhere.

    "I've shown you where my loyalties lay,
    I've never betrayed your trust,
    or broke your heart yet you run to him in time of need, instead of me."

    [Pre-Chorus]
    He's broke your heart
    and ruined your life
    yet you stay with him for reasons i cannot see

    [Chorus]
    What can i do to show,
    That there is no me without you
    No matter the facade i put on
    There is no me without you

    He lies, he sneaks, he ignores you
    I push through the wall of anger, sadness, grief and pain
    yet you're in his arms at the end of the day

    He's broke your heart
    and ruined your life
    yet you stay with him for reasons i cannot see

    But I'll stand my ground,
    and i'll fight the good fight.
    And i'll wait for the day, when you realize you love me too

    ________________________________________
    Give me all the criticism you can...i love it
    thanks everyone

  2. #2

    Thumbs up

    Since this is a music forum I am assuming these are lyrics, if not then disregard the rest of this. As a musician it is really hard for me to be the judge of lyrics without a musical context to put them in. Personally, lyrics are actually the last thing that I listen to in a song. I listen to the vocals as an instrument, meaning: how do they rhythmically and melodically sit in the song. What is their relationship to the other things going on? If I like what they are adding to the overall value of the song then I focus more on the what is being said or the intention of the lyricist. And honestly it comes down to how the vocalist delivers the lyrics. You could have written some of the most profound lyrics ever, on paper, but if the singer doesn't communicate them in a way that listeners find compelling then you might as well be writing in a personal journal. That being said, I don't think the lyrics are bad but lyrics without a melody or a voice are just like strings without a guitar.
    Leftyguitarfreek

  3. #3
    Trainee
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    Default

    thanks for the input. i appreciate it

  4. #4
    Forum God SljSlj's Avatar
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    Default

    Besides the line "There is no me without you", I'm glad to see you tried to steer away from the conventional love song. Keep it up.

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