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Thread: Not What It Seems (Rough Draft)

  1. #1

    Post Not What It Seems (Rough Draft)

    Okay, this is a draft of one of my songs. tell me how I can improve it, please.

    Not What It Seems

    I always came in with a smile on my face
    You were the only thing I looked foward to, anyday
    when you were away, I always felt alone
    But I never trusted anyone, at all!

    The nightmares I had at night,
    were always about my best friends,
    either dying, or leaving me until the end
    was near!

    (Bridge)
    I knew this would happen
    Your lies are real
    And I felt it under my skin

    (Chorus)
    This is
    Not what it seems
    I've always felt like this before
    Just a pathetic mess and nothing more
    You are
    Not what you say
    You were always living a lie before
    Just somes pimp
    Just someone's whore

    I always felt there's no reason to lie
    And when you confessed
    I felt I was about to cry
    I want to forgive but I'm afraid
    it would backfire
    Someday!

    (Bridge)
    I knew this would happen
    Your lies are real
    And I felt it under my skin

    (Chorus)
    This is
    Not what it seems
    I've always felt like this before
    Just a pathetic mess and nothing more
    You are
    Not what you say
    You were always living a lie before
    Just somes pimp
    Just someone's whore

    It's not to late to change
    To give back what you take
    And take back what you gave

    This is
    not what it seems
    I've always felt like this before
    Just a pathetic mess
    Nothing more!

    (Chorus)
    This is
    Not what it seems
    I've always felt like this before
    Just a pathetic mess and nothing more
    You are
    Not what you say
    You were always living a lie before
    Just somes pimp
    Just someone's whore

  2. #2
    Trainee
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Posts
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    Default

    i love it. and i can relate because its how i feel about a certain girl i know very relatable to the audience with the right chord progression and a catchy bridge, it could be awesome

  3. #3

    Default

    joe, dont we all have that girl, same here man
    anyways, back to the song, i loved it, relate to it, specially the pimp is really the whore part.

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